Underthinking Australian Coins

As an unemployed person living in Australia, but working from a NZ bank account for the time being. I find myself living in a world that I thought died out years ago alongside Chatter rings.

Yeah, I didn't get the point of them either, Fan of early Mike Myers films.

And no I am not talking about a world without Internet, how do you think I am writing this if that were the case?

And no I am not writing it as text messages on phone with no SIM and flying them out on a Pigeon. Because I know that's what you were thinking.

No I am talking about a world of cash, living back home I would be lucky if I had more than $20 in my pocket, everything was done electronically since there were no fees, and I wasn't a drug dealer so I wasn't being paid in cash.

I may have been a drug baron, but I wasn't a drug dealer.

Since over here, it costs me like $4 a withdrawal, I am living in a world of cash and it is strange and foreign to me, for starters I had to relearn how to use an ATM.

According to the internet I need to be female between 20-35, and not look at the machine at any point.

Once I had successfully retrieved my money from the machine I went to put it in my wallet. However having lived in a cash-free society my wallet doesn't really have receptacles for notes anymore.

Yeah you can get your 50 in there smart guy, show me how you get it out.

When I spent my first note on something, the situation became even more dire. It is exasperated by the fact in Australia they seem to be going for some sort of world record for the world's largest coin.

I can barely move it across our coffee table, how am I meant to transport it?

The best part is it isn't even there most valuable coin, it's the third most valuable coin. So I got worried, if this was only their third most valuable coin, how much bigger do they get, what sort of belt am I going to have to get to keep my pants up carrying all these coins?

Even one with metal reinforcing would be no match for these behemoths. 

But it turns out I didn't need to worry the Australian's have built their coins in some sort of pyramid formation with apex, at the 50 cent piece, then they descend in size.

I think they realised they got too big with the 50 and had to make some sort of logical pattern.

Their $2 coin is the same size as their 5 cent piece?! To be fair it is fatter but still. And why do they still have a 5 cent piece? Seriously as an unemployed person I want to know because if there are things in Australia I can buy for 5 cents I want to know what they are.

To be fair there was a time I could probably put a deposit on a house in NZ for Australian 5 cents. But not anymore go NZD!

 There is an upside to this tiny $2 coin though, a couple of weeks ago I went out with $100 in my pocket and after buying a few beers and dinner I only had like $30 in notes in my pocket. I thought to myself I knew this country was expensive but $70? I then put my hand in my other pocket and pulled out a handful of coins expecting them to add to maybe $4.50 (obviously with no 50 cent pieces, I can't even get one of them in my hand). Turns out I had about $20 in $2 dollar coins just in my pocket, so I can imagine cleaning out one's couch or backseat of a car could mean you can pay off the power bill.

Or go swimming. (Allegedly)